For Online or Face-to-face
Individual, Couple, or Family Counselling, Treatment of Diagnosed Depression/Anxiety, Trauma and
and/or Prayer/Spiritual Support with
MAASW (Adv. Accr)
BSW (Curtin) MA (Counselling)
BEd (Science) Grad. Dip. Management
Accredited Mental Heath Social Worker/Medicare Provider
Supervisor and Training Consultant
Open Arms (formerly Veterans & Veterans Families Counselling Service) Outreach Programme Counsellor
Department of Veterans Affairs Provider
Insurance Commission of WA Provider
Listed as a Blue Knot Foundation Trauma-informed Service
For info Phone: 0408 890 887
(please allow one day for replies to messages)
NB Medicare rebates are available if you see a GP for a mental healthcare plan
Online options available
Signal (preferred secure phone app), Skype or Zoom options are available for online sessions.
Canning Vale Serviced Offices
Unit 15, 64 Bannister Road,
Western Australia 6155
Medicare Provider 442250DX
For Appointments Phone/SMS 0408 890 887
To mail: PO Box 260
This is NOT an emergency service. For Western Australian mental health emergencies please contact the Mental Health Emergency Response Line on 1300 555 788
attend the nearest Emergency Department of a hospital.
Alternatively contact Lifeline on
13 11 14.
Helplines: (click )
Other support services:
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 - for 24/7 telephone counselling for young people 5-25 years
Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467 - for 24/7 telephone crisis support for people at-risk of suicide, carers and bereaved
MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78 - for 24/7 telephone and online support, information and referral services for men
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 - for 24/7 telephone support and online chat 4pm - 10pm (AEST)
Meth Helpline : 1800 874 878 - The Meth Helpline is a free confidential telephone counselling, information and referral service for anyone concerned about their own or another person's meth use.
1800RESPECT - 1800 737 732 - 24 hour 7 days a week, confidential telephone and online support - 1800RESPECT is not only a support service for people affected by sexual assault, domestic and family violence. It is also an information and support service for family, friends, and frontline workers.
WA COVID-19 Hotline - Phone 13 COVID
Lifeline - Phone 13 11 14
MensLine - Phone 1300 789 978
Jobseekers Contact Line - Phone 132 850
Small business advice – Phone 133 140
Acknowledgement of sources of graphics used on this web site:
Permission given on 27 Nov 2016 by Danny Silk for #KYLO (Keep Your Love On) and lovingonpurpose.com;
Permission given on 27 Nov 2016 by Kris Vallotton for #KVM (Kris Vallotton Ministries).
EverWeb public domain images
Brett Jones Online Free Stock Photos: http://brentjonesonline.com/blog/blogging/where-to-find-free-stock-photos/
Marriage Counselling in Perth
Trauma Counselling in Perth
Family Counselling in Perth
Christian Counselling in Perth
Counselling for depression in Perth
Counselling for anxiety in Perth
Counsellor is sometimes misspelled as counselor, councelor, councellor or councillor and Counselling is sometimes spelled as counselin.,
Suburbs serviced include Shelley, Rossmoyne, Willetton, Parkwood, Ferndale, Bull Creek, Lynwood, Wilson, Cannington, Canning Vale, Leeming, Salter Point, Waterford, Karawara, Brentwood, Murdoch, Welshpool, Huntingdale, Victoria Park, Gosnells, Martin, Jandakot, Bibra Lake, Cockburn Central, South Perth, Melville, Samson, North Lake, Myaree, Alfred Cove, Rivervale, Burswood,Orange Grove, Belmont, Ascot, South Guildford, Guildford, Hazelmere, Woodbridge, Midvale, Swan View, Greenmount, Helena Valley, Maida Vale, Gooseberry Hill, Kalamunda, Lesmurdie, Walliston, Carmel, Bickley, Forrestfield, O'Connor, Piara Waters, Forrestdale, Treeby, Banjup, Seville Grove, Armadale, Camillo, Kelmscott, Mt Nasura, Mount Richon, Brookdale, Wuyong, Hilbert, Darling Downs, Wandi, Aubin Grove, Atwell, Success, Hamond Park, Oakford, Byford,Individual counselling anger management counselling marriage counselling couple counselling child counselling parenting counselling sexual abuse counselling, self-harma nd suicide counselling trauma counselling relationship counselling stress management Self esteem and personal development adolescent counselling
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ABN 80 483 081 209
Childhood Emotional/Physical Neglect and Impacts in Adulthood
What is Childhood Neglect and How Can it Affect Adult Relationships?
Emotional connection starts to occur when a very small baby makes a noise or gesture and the parent routinely responds with positive attention. Connection is also built if the parent regularly initiates affection, and positive attention and simply enjoys their child.
When an infant is not attended to or if a child’s attempted connection gets little response, irregular response, or a poor/negative response stress systems become activated in the child and the brain is bathed in stress hormones. Heightened stress hormones over a long period of time affect short term memory and capacity to learn. The impact for both pre-school and school aged children is obvious. Neuroscientists studying the effects of neglect on children’s brains refer to the harm being done by neglect as ‘relationship trauma’ and 'developmental trauma': brain development is affected when positive attention is not consistently given, when the child does not learn to trust the bond with the care-giver; an infant perceives neglect as ‘danger;’ and so the brain associates ‘close’ with ‘danger.’ (see the YouTube clips below for more detail). If protection from others is not maintained or essential medical treatment is not sought the sense of dangerousness is only heightened in the confused child.
When children learn to distrust the safety of their connections with the closest people in their lives (parents/other caregivers) this can impair their capacity to trust those closest to them as adults. Here is a clip about emotional neglect.
If neglect was physical in nature (a child is not fed or bathed enough and is not provided for adequately) the child is at risk of developing hoarding or ‘collecting’ behaviours that can continue as an adult. Typically hoarding behaviour is associated with a fear of not having enough, or a predication that ‘I’ll-never-have-enough.’
If for any reason a parent has neglected to take responsibility for the closeness of the relationship with a child, the child may fear that there will be little or no closeness unless they take responsibility for the relationship themselves. The child may work hard to take an interest in what the parent is interested in rather than the parent doing this for the child. The child may act like they are ‘hyper-responsible’ in an effort to earn love and admiration, including doing work that is the parent’s work. This is called ‘inverted-parenting.’ When they become adults, survivors of neglect-induced-inverted-parenting will often find themselves taking too much responsibility in their adult relationships but they may also be prone to giving up when their huge efforts do not generate the kind of loving response they desire or even demand. Often they may battle an impulse to give up on faith in relationships because it seems “too hard” being responsible for both parties’ ‘relationship work.‘
Discovering neglect dynamics and the way they play out in adult life can help a survivor to see the need to place less trust in the distrust they have in the love or care of their closest people.
Any form of child neglect can lead to ongoing strong anxiety when trying to form a close adult relationship, when committing to a serious relationship, or staying close to a partner in a long-term relationship. The source of the anxiety is often a long-term mystery to the adult since childhood neglect and fear-of-closeness was so ‘normal’ during their growing years. While the adult survivor of neglect genuinely wants a close relationship the person can typically only tolerate closeness in small doses until the nature of the anxiety is understood and the symptoms are better managed. Until that happens there is often a pattern of wanting short and intense periods of closeness that are frequently followed by long periods of emotional withdrawal, exceptional commitment to work, sport, or volunteer projects, and/or sabotaging closeness with anger or poor behaviour.
It is also common that adult survivors of neglect have been left so mystified about why they feel so bad so often that they begin to believe it is those closest to them today that are making them feel bad. When the fog lifts about their apparently ‘normal‘ childhood then adult survivors of neglect may experience a sense of shock that they did not know just how hurt they were as children. Once the shock is over they may then begin to take more responsibility for their own relationship-anxiety and seek counselling to find ways to manage it better. With a trauma-informed counsellor’s support you might become much better at understanding relationship-anxiety, communicating the difficulties you experience in trying to stay close to your partner and children, and manage both anxiety and anger much better. You may discover how hard it has been to ask for your needs to be met. You may also become better informed about how fear-of-closeness can happen at the same time as fear-of-losing-closeness, and how this can play out in the bedroom. Appointment details are listed above (to the right).
For more about the science of neglect view the clip below from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University.